rulesThe Art of Dealing with Narcissists – The Rules 

Basically, there is only one effective and reasonable rule for dealing with high-carat Narcissists:

Keep safety distance!

However, this rule can not be implemented in real life, because Narcissists run into us everywhere and all the time: Some of our colleagues, bosses, friends and relatives are always Narcissistic. That’s why we need more specific rules. Let's take a closer look at the whole matter.

So, if You just want to survive in the jungle or, even further and against any better knowledge, enter into a relationship with a Narcissist or maintain an existing partnership, then You should keep some important things in mind. May be, they do not seem very attractive to You, but the game works that way and not otherwise. And isn’t it at least comforting to know that the Narcissist is not only calculating, but also quite predictable? 

20 golden rules that You should take to heart with Narcissists 1 - 5:

  1. Do not get too close to him. This is considered an invasion into enemy territory and will promptly answered with a devastating counter-strike.
  2. Appear to be very impressed by all the things he personally attaches importance to: his professional achievements, his attractive appearance, his success with the opposite sex etcetera. (Also and especially if none of this is true)
  3. Never restrict a Narcissist. Do not reject his demands, even if they are total absurd. Promise him everything. With some luck, he'll forget it.
  4. Banalities like real life are irrelevant and, at best, exist to emphasize his grandiosity.
  5. If there are things that need to be done, convey it to the Narcissist, as if it were his own, extraordinarily brilliant idea. Illustrate as vividly as possible, what advantages (wealth, fame, honor, etc.) result from it in a way, that those literally jump into his face, because he does not understand to read between the lines.


Some of the rules below are particularly noteworthy because they stem from the pen of hardcore Narcissist Sam Vaknin, who has been widely praised elsewhere. The use is at Your own risk. The author assumes no liability for consequential damages.