Chess quandaryThe Narcissist is always right

If You then start to argue, he will surely do it for You, he will as sure as hell twist the word in Your mouth until You will be standing in front of the whole world like a complete idiot. Don‘t forget: The Narcissist is always right. Especially when he is completely wrong. He understands it in an almost scary way to put everyone else in the wrong. Nobody is so well versed in tickling the abysmally bad out of others, like the Narcissist. And somehow he always succeeds that it is You who, who finally has got a guilty conscience. 

The Narcissistic quandary

Whenever trouble threatens and the Narcissist feels attacked or even only not valued enough, he maneuvers his adversaries into tricky situations. If he put You in the quandary, You have the choice between pest and cholera:

Either You go into the justification mode: You explain that everything was meant quite differently. Or You choose the Conflict Escalation mode: You insist that he misunderstood You. It is best to choose the option, that is the least wrong now. Or even better: Rather look for distance as quietly as possible and only return into his radius once he has found a new sphere of activity. Which thankfully is the case pretty fast for usual. It is always amazing how thoroughly one can be misunderstood by a Narcissist, when he wants that. It's not like he really wants it, but sometimes there is just this click in his head. And in those moments a single wrong word, a gesture, an irritating glance, a crooked smile will do to get You into hot water. And then You better don‘t even try to wind Yourself out. 

A winner

If You intend to have a rational conversation with him, he speaks with emotion. That is guaranteed. But if You want to talk about feelings, the Narcissist says goodbye and saves himself elegantly to the reliable terrain of rationality. Anyway, he always manages somehow to turn out in the end as a winner from any dispute, which in fact never happened.

And if You finally managed to push Narcissus into a corner, he has still got some completely disarming maneuvers on the backhand: Maybe he'll just blame You that You have been idealizing him too much. Then he will insist, that he, after all, is only human. Is it his fault that You misjudge him? And in case of doubt he even has still a good counterattack in his stock for his own fear of conflict: Because in fact it is that he is the rational part who hates emotional battles and prefers rational conversation, while You obviously seak a quarrel and are spoiling for a fight. 

There's someone else to blame

In extreme cases, when the Narcissist sees his hopes being swept away, he might even claim how much he needs Your love and understanding to be able to change. But now that he can no longer be sure of Your unlimited affection, there is no reason to change any more. And that could have incalculable consequences, which in turn depend on Your well-being ...

In short: There can only be one winner in conflicts. The Narcissist. That's that's all there for that alone, because the Narcissist makes no mistakes. There's always someone else to blame. Some people may understand as an affront, but the Narcissist is not even a foolhardy equivocator. At least not intentionally. Because, after all, he is convinced of his own reality as solid as a rock.